~IT's My L!Fe~

So many words, so many thoughts.. Not a word spoken, Not a word written... Complexities of Brain, Deepness of Heart.. Tear drops speak, Smiles long forgotten... Know it since beginning, Hope till the last.. Dreams Motivate, Life kicks hard... A light looks Green to Eyes, Heart knows it's all dark.. A door that can't be knocked, but peace this mind got... Direction is what i seek, weak is what i feel... Air so clean, wish that would have been the scene.. Cold all around, warmth within... Words & Thoughts is all I have, Purpose & Story a distant dream!

Dooriyan jo thodi badha li humse.. Maan liya ki chahat humari thum gayi jaise.. Humne bhi chupa li chahat, unki khushi ke vaste.. Kaise soch liye unhone ki thum sakti hai chahat.. Saanse tham ke dikhaye wo pehle..

The head feels heavy, No it doesn't ache... It feels heavy with all these thoughts running like a train.. Making me miss out on the the sweetness that lies in little things.. I fail to appreciate the beauty around, I just get in the train without a direction.. The head feels heavy with all the shit inside, and above all the reluctance to make the change.. The future is what i worry about and forget to live the moment i have now.. The feelings are strong, the words stronger just the laziness that stops me to post.. Still feel the depth and emotions so strong, a shield around me is what i have worn.. is it to protect or destroy, that's the question.. The head feels heavy, body weaker,  eyes tired but the heart still cries..

In my last post I made it clear why I moved back to Blog from Facebook but why I moved to Facebook in the first place that I just figured out. Although I am not a good writer but there have been times when I have written posts better than my expectations. The reason I say I am not a good writer apart from my bad vocabulary is my ignorance to details but it's amazing to know that's the main reason I started posting on Facebook. Confusing right? Well even though I can't write paragraphs describing a building or someone's lips (well I can appreciate someone's beauty overall in extreme details but not particularly with a magnifying glass) what I posted on my Blog was fairly detailed making the reader know who it's about or at least the one it was written about knew for sure but the thing with Facebook was limited space, need for creativity & the fear that this will definitely get noticed by people who would have never seen it otherwise made me convert thoughts i...

The month in particular is a little weird.  1st onsite to Italy on one side & news about project ending on other..  The Italy story deserves a separate post altogether. So moving on to girls. Naa no one in particular but ya someone in some sophisticated words suggested I am a thurki bastard but i took it as a compliment. Although it made me think how i used to be, respected for my feelings for girls and what i have become? Its fine if someone thinks i am like that because i might be!  ;)  but what hurts is when someone you think knows you so well makes a statement about you that you don't agree with. A smart person said that i need an Audience for my emotions, i care about what people think about my posts and i like it when someone reads my post... Yes i do like if people read what i write but i don't give a damm about what they think about it or if they like it or not. I have just one rule - Never let a thought go waste,  write it down! I need to convert my thoughts, my em...

The matters of Heart... Laws of physics fail to exist.. North &  south pole comes together.. Gravity becomes just a theory.. The matters of Heart... Complicating the uncomplicated.. Lucky &  unlucky all in same moment Deep dark woods or the beach sand just closed eyes away.. The matters of Heart... Smile on lips while the heart bleeds.. Hurting yourself & the joyful pain.. The two tears that comes out of eyes without any reason.. The matters of Heart... Smile on lips, Music in ears.. The fight with time, the neglected mind.. The beauty around,  the peace within.. The matters of Heart... The Heaven & Hell.. The pain &  relief.. The tears & smile.. The matters of Heart...

It’s been so long i wrote anything, not that i don't think or i don't feel the need in fact i myself broke my self-created 1st rule of blogging - "Never Let a thought go waste" but a beautiful status post rightly defines the reason for not writing as well as the reason for this entire post which is about the two status posts i posted today - Zindagi sabhi k liye wahi rangeen kitab hai... Farq sirf itna hai k kisi ne har panne ko dil se padha.. aur kisi ne bas panne palat liye.. {Via -  Swati Sethi's  wall post, real source - Unknown}   I have been thinking about this line a lot since I read it first.. Looks really simple sounds great but there's so much more to it… Especially when you actually feel it understand its real meaning and at times you even know what all you can do but the worst is when you don't even have that courage to make amends and knowingly you keep screwing up your life!!! It’s only when you are completely fresh & relaxed that you act...