Weird title, right? How can Happiness be a pain…
I am
writing something after a long long time, there was a time back in college days
to years immediately after that when there was so much to write, there was so
much to talk, there was so much to feel.
Then we got
busy with our jobs and then marriage and a Settled life…
Marrying
your best friend and your life has its perk that somehow you attain Nirvana – A
different sort of Nirvana perhaps.
One where
life is too comfortable, you are never alone, and you have a basic lack of any
pain in your life…
Now even
Nirvana has a problem, the lack of pain gives you a writer’s block…
Not just
that. When collectively everyone around you and all your close friends attain
this stage, you reach a point when you start missing your friends. Not that
they have gone anywhere but the things you used to talk changes, the emotions
and feelings you used to share changes and things like jobs, etc. take center
stage.
This is
what I call the pain of happiness!!
Induced
pain is what’s making me write this, this is not real.
There was pain
that we always carried around, There were songs that we enjoyed because of that
pain which had to go when we had someone in our life as a partner who is so
understanding that you don’t even need words to tell them how you feel, someone
you don’t feel the need to hide anything from and someone who not only knows
and is cool when you are checking out someone else but at times even poke you
to checkout someone!
The reality
was those heart to hearts, talking about our crushes and one-sided loves. The feeling
of liking someone and helping friends to write just the right words to send to
there crushes.
No matter
what but talking and sharing feelings is what defined the strength of friendship.
We are all
settled now, Happy now… We still meet and talk about jobs, we talk about money,
politics and so many things even maids…
But those
intense talks, those deep emotions have lost, our pain is different now it’s mostly
professional and no longer emotional…
There’s
nothing wrong with it, after all, we have grown up, we have matured we have settled...
But I have
a Void now…
इस सुकून की ज़िन्दगी में दर्द ढूंढ़ता हूँ में...
जिसे शब्दों में पिरोह सकूँ वो आंसू ढूंढ़ता हूँ में,
दो पल दिल की बात कर सकूँ वो एहसास ढूंढ़ता हूँ में,
फिर जिससे जज़्बात बाँट सकूँ वो दोस्त ढूंढ़ता हूँ में,
इस सुकून की ज़िन्दगी में दर्द ढूंढ़ता हूँ में...
