Hajime

This Post was written by - Varun Chowdhary

The title is a reference to the Japanese program gera babu is undergoing, and because this particular article is being written for his blog, or to be a little more specific, one of his blogs devoted to the budding talents of his friends, now I will not endeavor to say that I’m one of his best friends but he is one of my favorite seniors and a person who I admire as well as despise. There are some of his habits that just drives me insane and gera babu that includes you dissing Delhi whenever you can, but I really love his style man he is one energizer battery. Now, this is starting to sound like a testimonial so I shall turn to the job really at hand that is writing something meaningful in his blog.
I’m a conflicted person, not in the emotional sense but in a creative sense, both serious and frivolous topics hold equal sway over me. That I tend to find misery in the best of situations and comedy in the most dour of instances. I would like to start this, hopefully long lasting, fruitful and intellectually stimulating relationship with gera babu by something that usually tugs at my conscience a lot these days it is the matter of the recent high court judgment decriminalizing consensual intercourse between two men. Hallelujah the last vestige of the British raj has left India claimed one daily, the archaic law is pulled down claimed another news channel and this has been repeated so many times by our overzealous media that all its value as a landmark judgment has been lost and now it is turning into a farce, the same kind of farce the Indian film industry has made of homosexuality, bobby darling, kantaben and dostana my case in point. My thought being that when people stop and think about it not much has changed, the law still exists, all the cases that were already lodged in court under this law shall continue as they were, the judiciary has simply said that this particular interpretation of law is unconstitutional and the ball is in the legislative’s court. Which if it sees fit in the name of public morality may decide to reinstate the law in its entirety and we will be back to where we began, that being gay is criminal. But in this I would also like to congratulate the naz foundation for taking up this petition in the high court and those brave and hardworking lawyers from an organization whose name eludes me right now, these are the people who have done a magnificent job in bringing equality to a hidden section of the society. But if you look a little closer into the matter not much has changed, will we as a society suddenly turn around and find homosexuality acceptable, will we stop making jokes about gay people, or will we now be more sensitive to this community just because it is legal to be gay now. Look deep inside of you and the answer will be clear that we as a society are not ready to embrace homosexuality as a part and parcel of life when we have problems with woman empowerment and casteism. Not when a yoga guru can go on national television and claim that homosexuality is a disease and that he can cure it with yoga, which is just like saying that people who don’t like chocolate are diseased and they can be cured, I know it is a very absurd analogy but that is the complete point, a thought so absurd deserves an analogy equally idiotic.

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal , Found a link to this on twitter and after reading it and feeling a part of myself mentioned here couldn't resist posting it for all of you!!

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

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