Have you lost your identity??

hey ppl yesterday i posted a blog {sub:-self composed quote--if u hv not read it then first scroll down n read it}and 2day one of my frens told me abt an article in the ahmedabad times today under the category "relationships" which is in support of my yesterday's blog....here's the article....do read it till the end...

disclaimer:-both of these blogs are in any sense not a personal comment to anyone its just represents my personal feelings....

Have you lost your identity?

Read on to know if you have started to alter yourself and your lifestyle just to suit your partner

Being in love is a fantastic feeling. However, there are those who remain loving and are able to maintain their identity and there is another set of people who go slightly off balance when they get into a relationship. Do you ever notice that small things about you and your lifestyle have changed ever since you got involved with your current partner? The following are a few signs you need to look out for that would indicate you are allowing a little too much control by your partner on yourself, which could or could not be your partner's doing. Even you might not realise your change in behaviour until it's too late. If the following applies to you, it is time to reconsider your priorities:
ALWAYS CALLING! Your partner has all your phone numbers and is calling you at least five to six times a day. He or she knows what time to call you at work, when you're out or even when you are at home. While most individuals would know this is a sign of over obsessive behaviour, you may think otherwise because at the moment you are so in love. But understand that when you encourage such behaviour it does not get better it only gets worse, because in many ways you are feeding your partner's insecurities.
CHANGE IN PERSONALITY If your friends have begun to notice a change in your character or personality and not necessarily a good change, listen to them. Hopefully you have friends who look out for you and if they express concern over how much you have changed as a person, figure out if any of these changes can be attributed to your current partner. If yes, put a stop to it immediately and pull yourself together. It is important to be who you are. Remember change is a good thing only if it is in the form of growth.
NO FRIENDS



Do you feel that all the people you were closest to have started to associate with you a lot less? If this is the case it means on some level you have given priority to your partner over your friends. No one is asking you to ignore the love in your life, but if you are spending so much time with your partner that you start to lose friends, you are heading in a very wrong direction. Friends are an important part of your life so give them the time and space that they deserve. Besides, if ever you break-up with your partner, it will be your friends who stick by you.


THE LOVE LINGO The ‘koochie koo' factor is an unavoidable tragedy that most lovers indulge in. However, don't forget that you are an adult and to get all mush in the bedroom or your private space is all good. If you find yourself using the candy floss lingo in every walk of life, it is a sure sign that you are letting your personal life flow into your professional life. Keep the terms of endearment between you and your partner; behaving like a love sick puppy all the time will do you more harm than good.
CHANGING TASTES Many people often make the mistake of trying to force themselves to like or dislike something, just to comply with what their partners appreciate in life. If you are deliberately changing what you like just to make him or her happy it means you are trying too hard. At the end of the day you will eventually want to return to your own likes and dislikes so stop trying to force it and just stick to doing the things you want to do.
FOLLOWING RULES This is a classic example of how a person can totally lose control of him or herself when in a relationship. If your partner is implementing rules of conduct and behaviour for you and you start to follow those rules, you are definitely on a downward spiral. You need to live life by your own rules and can't be enslaved to another person. Respect yourself and who you are. Being in a relationship or committed to someone does not mean you lose your own identity. So learn to be your own person instead of turning into somebody else's shadow.
(Mumbai Mirror)

so frens what do u feel abt this article or my blog do comment

self composed quote

hey frens i just composed this quote after something happened in my life will tell u abt that l8r first see this quote:-

"whn love invades~frenship fades"

i composed this coz of the fact one of my very good fren who is my other fren's gf.but my frenship with this gal was indipendent in nature n not at all related to this guy...n now they r 2gether n a few weeks back i had a fight with this guy n 2day i came to know that my best fren is also not tlking to me n is angry with me....just because this guy told her abt our fight but was our frenship so week that she didn't even talked abt it to me n never asked me abt my sid of story n became angry without telling me anything...
so guys what do u think don't  u think whn love enters some1's life they tend to forget their frens..is frenship a very weak relationship.....????????? waiting for ur comments......

The ABC's of Celebrating Love!

The ABC's of Celebrating Love!   To be a special Valentine to your partner takes lots of energy, time, attention and Love. Let's all give some thought about who we are being in our relationship, what we can do to make them better and who we will have to become to have them be healthy and successful. Let's make EVERYDAY Valentine's Day for our partner.   Let's begin with the premise that relationships are something that must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed!   Here are a few ideas to get you started!
A	Absolutely amaze your partner with adoration. Let them know in very special ways that you care. Exercise extravagant respect and devotion toward your lover. Accept them for who they are. Demonstrate your warm attachment and affection to them. Avoid taking your partner for granted.
B	Believe in your instincts. Be spontaneous. Don't plan. . . just do something that you've wanted to do with your partner for a long time. Let your love occur naturally. Stop and pick a roadside flower and present it to your partner.
C	Cuddle. Lie close and be cozy. Do spoons! Just hold each other. There is a very special healing power in a close, warm embrace. C is also for "considerate."
D	Discover new ways of expressing your love for each other. Hire a skywriter. Put a message up on a billboard. Buy a radio commercial to say I love you. Record a special message on a cassette.
E	Entice your lover to try a new way of making love. Always making love the same way can bring on boredom. Focus on pleasure. Enjoy each other to the fullest. Read, Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.
F	Flirt for fun and frivolity. Be creative in your flirting. Pretend you are together for the first time or that you are trying to pick up your lover.
G	Gaze into each other's eyes with a steady intention to say, "I love you" without words. Smile. Notice the eye color. Say something nice about them. Be generous with your love.
H	Have a private party for just the two of you. Candles, music, the works. Talk. Listen. Express your love for one another.
I	Indulge each other's desires. Write your secret desires on pieces of paper and trade. You may be surprised.
J	Joke and have fun together. Lighten up. Be joyous. Release your sense of humor. Have fun with love.
K	Kissy. . . kissy. . . kissy! Quick pecks on the cheek don't work. Give your partner an unexpected, looooooong, juicy kiss. Be keen on kissing!
L	Love with all your heart and soul. Always remember to speak, "I love you" at least once each day. Express love in new and exciting ways. Remember to love yourself and do nice things for you too.
M	Massage away the day's tension and stress. Begin with the feet and work up. Surprise your lover with your magic fingers or tantalizing tongue. Buy some special massage oil; something that smells good.
N	Nurture your need for nibbling. Nibble each other's earlobes or other parts of the body that feels good. Practice a soft, light, romantic nibble with your lover. Nibbling feels good.
O	Offer breakfast in bed or some other surprise your lover might like. Be creative. Plan. Make it very special.
P	Pretend you are long-lost, passionate lovers. Use your imagination. Think! What could you do that you haven't done for a long time? Do that.
Q	Quote your lover a love poem or a special passage from a book or greeting card that expresses exactly how you feel.
R	Remember the little things. Respect your partner by paying attention. Be aware when your partner's likes and dislikes. Notice what makes them happy and deliver more of that.
S	Slow dance by candlelight or in the backyard in the moonlight. Get back to romance. Be sensitive to the romantic needs of your lover. Romantically impaired? Read, 1001 Ways to Be Romantic.
T	Try a little tenderness. Be gentle. Practice the "soft touch." Go slow. Be intentional.
U	Uncover your deepest feelings. Speak them or write them to your lover. Communicate them unwaveringly. Let your emotions express themselves with sensitivity, understanding and love.
V	Vow your eternal love for each other. Renew your vows. Make some new ones. Look up the word "vow" in the dictionary. Live by your solemn promises.
W	Watch a sunrise or sunset together. Bring a picnic basket with snacks and your favorite beverage. Let the warmth you feel for your partner be felt.
X	X-plore your romantic dreams. Daydream about this one. Think. X-cellerate. Don't wait. Do something X-citing together; something you said you would do in the past, but you both have been putting off or making X-cuses about.
Y	Yearn for each other's touch. Don't hold back. A hug-a-day pays dividends beyond your wildest imaginings. AND. . . it feels good to be touched by the one you love.
Z	Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz in each other's arms. Zero in on being close. Touching feels good. Enhance your enjoyment by listening to your partner's breathing cycle and to their heartbeat. Inhale and exhale together. Become as one.

   

Keep loving

As

Valentine Day Coming

Cheers

6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR FRIEND

 

 This article is adapted from Larry's book, "LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing!" Author Larry James presents seminars nationally for singles and couples. .This was mailed to me by one of my friend.

plz read this story as it is really hrt touching

My mom only had one eye.   I hated her...  she was such an embarrassment.  My mom ran a small shop at a flea market.  She collected little weeds and such to sell... anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment.  There was this one day during elementary school.

 

I remember that it was field day, and my mom came.  I was so embarrassed.

How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school..."Your mom only has one eye?!" and they taunted me.

I wished  that  my  mom would just disappear from this world so I said to my mom,  "Mom, why don't you have the other eye?! You're only going to make me a laughingstock.   Why don't you just die?"

 

My mom did not respond.  I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I  had  said  what I'd wanted to say all this time.

Maybe it was because my mom  hadn't  punished  me,  but I didn't think that I had hurt her feelings very  badly. 

That night...I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.  My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful, because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.

Then I studied really hard.  I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married.  I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I'm living happily as a successful man.  I like it here because it's a place that doesn't remind me of my mom. This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came to see me.

 

"What?! Who's this?!"

 

...It was my mother...Still with her one eye.  It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me.  My little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.  And I asked her,  "Who are you? I don't know you!!!" as if she trying to make that real. I screamed at her "How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! GET OUT OF HERE!  NOW!!!"

 

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, I'm so sorry.  I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared. Thank good ness... she doesn't recognize me.  I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.

Then a wave of relief came upon me...one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. I lied to my wife saying that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house...just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground.  But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me.

She wrote:

My son...

I think my life has been long enough now. And... I won't visit Seoul anymore... but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while?  I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.  But I decided not to go to the school.... For you...  I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you. You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye.  As  a  mother,  I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only  one  eye...  so I gave you mine...I was so proud of my son that was  seeing  a  whole  new world for me, in my place, with that eye.  I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you were angry with me. I thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me.'  I miss the times when you were still young around me. 

I miss you so much.  I love you.  You mean the world to me.

My world shattered!!! 

Then I cried for the person who lived for me... My MOTHER 

I am not asking you guys to forward this email to anyone. Just pause for a moment and pray for our parents so that God gives them all the happiness that they rightfully deserve.......!!!!!

Gandhi didn't say Hey Ram while dying

Mahatma Gandhi did not utter "Hey Ram" when he fell to the bullets of an assassin 58 years ago as has been famously attributed to the Father of the Nation, his personal attendant says.

"Gandhi did not say 'Hey Ram'. In fact, he did not utter any word when the bullets fired from Nathuram Godse's pistol pierced his chest," Bapu's personal assistant Venkita Kalyanam who claims to be a witness to the horrific event told a news conference on Sunday.

Kalyanam said he was just behind the Mahatma when he was shot dead in the Teen Murti area of New Delhi on January 30, 1948.

The 83-year-old Kalyanam, who hails from Thanjavur in Tamil Nadu, said politics in post-Independent India had taken an entirely different turn from what the Mahatma could have wished.