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Love, Sex & Life!

I Love You, the three misused, over used words in our country, We all have heard it, used it but do we actually mean it?

On every corner of street you'll fine some romeo try to say the same to one or the other girl & if saying was not enough you'll find it engraved on trees, historic monuments, so much so on your school/college benches and also not to forget the infamous boys washrooms!

Very often the words are misused, we use I Love you when we should actually be using, I Like you as in most cases it just starts with merely infatuation but considering our country people should actually say I Lust for you 'coz that what they actually mean, its pure and simple attraction and not an emotional one but LUST in most of the cases.

Not that i do not believe in Love, it sure exists but the dynamics have changed, it is more about convenience, not many have the energy or devotion to handle it, but you can't blame them, life is now a rat race, it has become all about achieving professional goals, the financial goals which have to be high after all the heart has now become a slave to glittering new products in market and one doesn't have to go anywhere far for it, one can drool over this stuff with just a click and scrolling down these amazing websites, all you want to do is buy it all.

Wedding is one word this country is obsessed with, the obsession starts with as soon as the kid is born in an Indian Family, it starts with education, college, job and as soon as you start a job the entire world around you has just one simple task and that is to get you married, it's the best past time for people in this country and if you give in to the pressure don't think its the end of it, then the next best past time is kids...

Our generation on the other hand is moving far and far away from this circus, they all are trying to first achieve some stable ground, financial stability where they can take care of not just their needs but some luxurious desires before they get into this commitment business, unless some have been successful who have resisted the enormous pressure from all around.

I have always believed that one should be at a stage where one earns enough to support two people, i am not saying that one has to leave job, nobody wants that, every girl has her own desires and wants to achieve nothing less than the any man even in this male dominated society but that financial security covers the risk of an unfortunate event where one has to leave job or also gives one freedom to take unconventional paths or risks in life be it on professional front or some long held back need to pursue a passion.

Where does Sex fits into all this, we all agree our society is a male chauvinist society full of hypocrites who ideally should have no business with anybody else' life but our country is far far away from this idealistic scenario infact we are just the opposite, we have a habit of poking into everyone's affairs 'coz we just don't have any spice in our life and others life is the spice for ours.

But amidst this, our generation embraces sex and accepting the fact that sex is not some big deal but just a need, a passionate need but just like Love Like & Lust, Sex is often given more meaning then it deserves, it just doesn't have to mean anything, there's a big difference between sex and intimacy and an altogether different concept is Love.
But the younger generation has become surprisingly more mature about this topic and can explain it much better then I can ever do, i was pleasantly surprised read this article in Times Life March 23rd edition which is a conversation between the author and four girls in the age bracket of 16-17 here's what they had to say:

On love and sex
“What do emotions have to do with sex? Sex is just sex, a need you satisfy like any
other itch. Please don’t confuse the two.Sex lost its emotional value sadly. Sex and
emotional intimacy are two different things. You can have sex with anyone, but save intimacy for just a few. I may have sex with someone I do not fall in love with, and on the other hand, I could even be deeply and emotionally involved with someone I never wish to have sex with! I
may just like to talk with him, share my feelings, consult him, but not be attracted to him physically at all.When you love someone and commit to the person, it is another matter. When you commit, it has to be total.”
Some other excerpts that will convey the message of the entire article are: (find complete article HERE.)
On expectations from the future
  • A life of financial comfort and social acceptability (friends and dating) comes above my aspirations of marriage and having children.
  • I would never settle for someone as a compromise. Remaining single is no big deal.
  • I will build the life I wish to on my own and be responsible for it. It is my responsibility to become what I want to be.
The sheer emotional maturity and confidence is what will pave the path for a future where instead of the gender bias everyone is treated equal with equal freedom to make the choices in life.

My views in no way suggest that we should forget the culture and family values but where to draw the line should be a matter of individual choice and should be respected, the over dependency on our elder generation for financial reason is what that needs to be evaluated.

Well nobody know what love really is but for sure it is not blind, and in our country these decisions are even more crucial and can not be taken just 'coz you think you are in love as divorce is another big taboo in our country, our society wants even if things don't work out between a man and his wife they should just show that everything's good and should keep up the act and drag it till the very end.
Above all there's no manual or test for any of this it shall always remain the war between Heart & Brain and like i posted yesterday on Facebook:

The dangerous war between heart & brain is what complicates life.. Zindagi kisi ek se nhin chalti, it needs a perfect harmony of both heart & brain! The only thing that can bring them in sync is Time & Time is what we don't have or maybe we do! ‪#‎ViciousCircle‬
Whatever you do try to take both your heart & brain in confidence before you walk over this road full of thorns carefully hidden with rose petals.

I can go on and on when it comes to this topic, but i guess i should not push it further, it's after a long long time that i have actually written something, hope it continues...

P.S: This post is not specific, and totally a broad generalization, i know there'll be many exceptions and i respect all of it even if i may not agree with it.


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